The Wt. Loss Minute
By Linda Spangle, RN, MA
May 24, 2010

Kicking the Bear for an Emotional Cold

This weekend, I got a terrible cold. It started when I got overly
tired in my efforts to prepare for six dinner guests on Saturday
night. About 30 minutes before they were due to arrive, I sat
down on the couch and couldn't move. I felt old, grumpy and sick!

As most of you know, I'm still recovering from surgery for breast
cancer. (Read my update at the end of this article.) And while the
doctors always tell us to not do 'too much' they never hand us an
energy alarm that warns us when we're getting close to our limit.

On Saturday afternoon, fatigue pushed me over the edge of my
fragile mental stamina and into an emotional slump. I knew I
wasn't physically sick. I simply had gotten an 'emotional cold!'
Fortunately, once I'd rested a bit, the symptoms let up. And when
my guests arrived, I greeted them at the door, and served the
meal I had prepared.

But even though I felt better, I wasn't quite over my cold. In
the middle of the prayer time halfway through our Sunday morning
church service, I started crying and couldn't seem to stop. My
husband leaned over and said, 'Shall we leave?' I nodded yes, and
we quietly walked out of the church.

This wasn't the first time since my surgery that I experienced an
emotional cold. The hospital staff had given me a fluffy stuffed
bear, and told me that when I felt sad or upset, it might help to
hug the bear. One day a couple of weeks into my recovery, I was
feeling down, so I picked up the bear and held it in my lap.

But suddenly, my grief about having cancer took over.  I threw
the bear onto the floor and shouted, 'I don't want to have
cancer!' Then I got up from my chair, walked to where the little
bear had landed and kicked it so hard it flew into the next room.

My feelings about my cancer diagnosis had given me an emotional
cold and kicking the bear was my way of dealing with it. I later
retrieved the stuffed bear, apologized to it for my outburst, and
put it back on the shelf where it now sits quietly again.

How a cold gets started

An emotional cold can be brought on by any number of stressful
things. Sometimes it's a struggling relationship, a job layoff,
or just being overwhelmed or sick of life at the moment. In some
cases, unusual work demands or an ill parent can wear us out.

Emotional challenges tend to be cumulative, just like physical
problems. In my case, even though I'm doing well with my
recovery, I still struggle with  feeling a little moody,
discouraged and slightly depressed. And on days when these
feeling overwhelm me, a cold sets in quickly.

When I get an emotional cold, I want to eat everything. I
especially want carrot cake, ice cream and huge chocolate-chip
cookies. Of course, these foods only treat the symptoms, not the
problem. An hour later, my emotional cold is still there,
dragging me down more than ever.

Treating an emotional cold

From my own experiences as well as my years of weight-loss
counseling, here are some things I've learned about healing from
an emotional cold.

1. It's a real cold
Recognize and acknowledge it when you get an emotional cold. You
can't just talk yourself out of it, ignore it or shake it off. So
give up the fake happy face and admit that you're feeling down.
You may have to snuggle under an emotional blanket for a few
days, and give yourself time to get better.

2. It's not your fault
Even if it's related to illness, stress or not taking time for
yourself, don't blame yourself for getting an emotional cold.
They just show up, often as a way to remind us that it's time to
slow down and take better care of ourselves.

And if you eat sweets or junk food in your efforts to cope with
your cold, don't conclude that you're weak or a failure. You
probably just needed some relief from the symptoms while you
waited for life to heal you.

3. Rest until you feel better
Do lots of nurturing and self-care while you allow yourself time
to recover. For my own healing, I'm taking lots of walks, playing
my piano and talking with good friends every day over tea.

If possible, eliminate some of your stress or look for ways to
decrease the demands in your life. Take some emotional time off.
Call in sick (because you have a "bad cold") or ask your family
to help out more for a few days because of your 'illness.'

Once you've recovered from your emotional cold and you're feeling
better, renew your determination for healthy eating and exercise.
Pull out your list of non-food ways to nurture and reward
yourself. Then lift the burden off your shoulders, stand up tall,
and move back to the center of your healthy road.

Everyone gets an emotional cold now and then. If you learn to
recognize the symptoms, then start treating it right away, you'll
perk back up and recover a lot faster. Eventually, you may even
learn how to prevent them and avoid experiencing the 'last straw'
emotions that make you kick an innocent stuffed bear.

My personal recovery:

I'm doing extremely well with my healing, and my energy doing
much better. Last Monday, I started on Femara, the medication
that I'll be taking daly for the next five years. So far, I've
been tolerating it well, and had virtually no side effects. I'm
very optimistic that in the years ahead, I'll be fine and will
remain cancer-free.

© Linda Spangle, 2010. www.weightlossjoy.com